Jack's Train of Thought aka: Jack the Philosopher
by Nina Elric
Summary: Okay, this is a work of boredom. Jack discusses the values of being a solid human being as opposed to a bodyless ghost with Wuya. Bad summary. It's supposed to be funny so just read it... One Shot


**A/N:** Okay, regular is Jack italics is Wuya. Have fun! BTW, I wrote this out of **_pure unadulterated boredom_**. Enjoy!

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**Jack's Train of Thought a.k.a: Jack the Philosopher**

Take that! Bwahahahahahaha! You thought you could outsmart me, Jack Spicer! Well, I'm sorry to say that I am skilled in the way of the Goo Zombie! Now I am champion of all Zombiedom!

_Zombiedom?_

Yes Zombiedom.

_Whatever happened to the world?_

Well, this works for now.

_But the game's over now, What do you have to rule?_

Hmm, good point. Well, I guess I'll just have to wait for Goo Zombies 76. And then the expansion pack. THEN I will rule all of Zombiedom with its endless game play and infinite possibilities! 64 bit high def, 3d, killer graphics! Can't wait!

_So what do you want to do in the meantime?_

Kochico Raider, of course. The online version. Kimiko has yet to realize that I am her blue cohort! I think she thinks it's Raimundo.

_You're kidding, right?_

Not at all.

_You really are a sniveling whelp…_

I don't see what you mean?

_You have to fool someone to get them to like you, pathetic._

Efficient though.

_I find the way you look at the world to be somewhat crooked._

Evil, though, yes?

_No, just crooked._

Not even a little evil?

_Annoying, really._

Not even a teeny bit?

_NO!_

You sure?

_Very…_

Hmm…

_Ugh…_

I'm hungry.

_You're always hungry!_

What can I say? I'm a growing boy.

_Who lives off nasty pudding cups!_

How dare you insult the pudding cup! They aren't nasty… they're sniff beautiful…

_Oh my… Where'd he go? To get one of those disgusting pudding cups, I bet._

Mmm… These are really good. You should try them someday.

_I don't have a body._

Sucks for you!

_Like I'm really missing out on much…_

You don't know the half of it!

_Oh? Enlighten me._

Where to begin? Life itself is a wonder. Each and every day is a gift to be filled with experiences of both joy and sadness. Dreams of a far off future, dreams of success, dreams of love. Yes, Love. Love is part of life. To yearn for the affection of a fellow human being is to know true need. To be rejected is to know true disappointment and sorrow. But with each failure comes a chance to improve upon one's self. Emotions are only half of it though. Being cold and then coming in for a nice warm shower, being hot and taking a nice cool shower… Physical relief in its purest form. Weariness from a long busy day, the relief of rest, the ability to awake refreshed and ready to take on the world…

_Even if you fail at everything you try?_

To fail is to reveal a fault to better upon. Like Thomas Edison said, "I have never failed, instead, I have found 10,000 ways how not to make the light bulb." Failure is subjective, my dear Wuya. To see each short coming as a failure is to say that there is no way that you can do any better.

_Okay…_

Take time to breathe and smell the flowers. Listen to the birds' songs. Feel the grass between your fingers. Pet a furry creature. Feel the warmth of its fur and know that it, too, is alive in this world. Know that you are among other living people and that each individual exists on its own plane.

And death. One cannot truly appreciate life without death. Death is not an ending, but a shift in one's state of existence. Know that one day it will come and you have no need to fear it. As a ghost, you miss out on the need to cram as much wonder and amazement as possible into a limited life time. To be a child, a lover, a philosopher, a father, a grandfather, all in a matter of a few years. To die old and happy is to know true success.

You get it, right?

… _Where does ruling the world come in to all this?_

Everyone has a goal, mine is to rule the world. Even though it will squash the dreams of others, it is what I want. But as long as good is in the way, my dream may not come true. Therefore, a legacy is required.

The battle between good and evil is not one that will end any time soon. So we must reach for our arms and never let the dream of darkness disappear from out lives…

…

It's just that simple. Never give up. Hmm… I'm out of pudding, be right back.

…_What just happened?_

Yum.

_Jack, where did all that come from?_

All what?

_That stuff you just said? Those words could've rallied the forces of evil to fight together as one force! It sounded like you were leading an army of darkness to battle against the forces of good. Jack, if you think like that all the time, why aren't you more successful?_

Huh?

_Put that game down and listen to me! Or maybe even yourself!_

Wuya, Wuya, Wuya, you just don't understand the delicacy of the life/game balance.

_Grrr…_

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Where'd the lights go! Mommy! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

_Ugh…_

Mmm, pudding.


End file.
